The Death March.

Tuesday....is a day I want to forget.

But at the same time, it was one of those humbling days. The ones Heavenly Father decides to give you a message that you are nothing close to perfect.

Tuesday started out to be a great day, no lie. I woke up giddy that I was jumping on my bed. I knew it would be a good day. I love my job, I love my husband and I love my family (both sides).

I have the job of many jobs. I am office manager/education specialist/anything anyone wants me to do job. 

Today I was working on the Education Specialist part of my job, by going to school with the girls. I decided to go with the school where the girls fight with each other. 

It is pretty easy to sit in the back of the class keeping busy while the girls actually learn something.

I was happy all was well. I even remembered to take my sack lunch this time to lunch.

I got to play dodge ball at the last class. Where I tweaked my knee somehow. But didn't notice. I was having way to much fun! My team rocked! 

Well I should mention the part about school where you drive 16 passenger vans to school, shoot me!

I hate them, they are huge and in charge.

Well leaving school dealing with a little snot in the back seat. Trying to weave my way through all the impatient teachers, parents & students making their way home. I got between two cars, for a car to cut me off. Making me stuck and and the truck to the side of me stuck. I tried to get through, but unsuccessfully. I ended up hitting it, I've never hit a car in my WHOLE driving life. I was scared. I didn't show this to the other girls. I got out confronted not a happy man about the car situation. I don't think he was expecting me, a girl age of 22 that looks like she could be a student there at the jr. High, with my badge with where I worked on it. 

I apologized millions of times, I know the man was sick of the apology.

" I am so sorry, I've never hit a car before. Do you want my information? Are you sure?"

We had a talk that felt like FOREVER.

He made a comment how I should learn how to drive a 16 passenger van.

I know how, but its easy to forget how large and in charge it truly is sometimes.

He didn't want my information, he only had 2 scratches that were in the shape of small circles. 

I am glad it was a truck not a mini van. I am sure that huge nasty green 16 passenger van would knock another car right over.

I was great on the way home. I knew my body was intense. I had one goal in mind, that once I get back to the program I was going to tell the bosses (aka my in-laws) right away.

I wanted them to hear it from me, not some other staff or girl in the program.

When I got out of the car the scratch wasn't...that bad. It really wasn't. 

I went to the office one goal in mind. Thankful that it was just Terie (my mother-in-law) and told her.

She asked, "what" and that is when it happened.

The tears, where did these come from?

You know when you are going to tell your mom something and its like your perfectly fine. But when you start telling her the tears roll down, she's got that motherly connection and cares about you that you just can't stop it.

Well that's what happened to me. I feel that connection with Terie, she is so awesome. Always giving me advice. Helping me out. I know she truly cares about me and that's why I think the tears started. I think if I told someone else in the program (besides Paul, because he is a father figure to me) I would be just fine. 

Terie was so nice, gave me hugs and told me to sit down and just relax. 

I started feeling fine, making jokes, until... Paul asked me how work was.

The tears came up again.

When I was fine I made my way back over to the girls house (Paul and Terie are located in the boy's house)

Many of the girls asked me questions, "Did Paul and Terie get mad?" "Am I going to get in trouble for chasing that girl down the hall?" "I need an appointment?" "This girl swore at me." "Are you going to tell so-and-so how they are suppose to do their chores?"

I then saw Micah(as I was walking with another girl)... oh great I thought, I don't want the tears to come again. 

I then looked down, (I was wearing my cute gel shoes that I got in Japan. 

It's a swirly pattern that doesn't cover your foot) there was goat poo on my shoes, and on my toes.

My knee started feeling all this pain from when I tweaked it earlier.

I was just thinking to myself, I hate this day. When will it be over.

I went in, I told Micah about the car accident. He asked millions of questions 

 "When did it happen, why?, what was your situation?"
He then realized that I was emotional about the situation, and told me I didn't have to answer.

Tears rolled down the cheeks one more time, to have our new program director come out and ask how I was. 

The tears really ended after that. I worked on a project that I am doing for my apartment.

Which helped me a lot.

Went home and iced my knee. 

What a day it was, that I had no energy.

But, as I sat there I realized one thing, Heavenly Father was sending me a message.

I was getting to comfortable in my pattern that he decided to spice it up and tell me, fun things won't happen to you.

And I am learning from it. 

I am grateful for everyone who comforted me about the situation. Meant a lot to me.