"High times, hard times
Sometimes the living is sweet
And sometimes there's nothing to eat
But I always land on my feet
So when there's dry times
I wait for high times and then
I put on my best
and I stick out my chest
and I'm off the the races again."
-the newsies
I never really liked this song from the Newsies, the ladies voice bugs me. But the chorus is great and is inspiring.
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Have you ever felt nothing you do is right? Every on is sick of you? No one wants to listen to what you say? You don't feel smart? You wish you were doing something more fun than school? Or sometimes you feel gross, maybe it has to do that it is 3 in the afternoon and you are still in your pjs. Maybe you just haven't exercised yet.
....
I will tell you I've felt all of these one time or another. You never feel good after you feel you don't fit in. I hate the feeling I give myself. I am good at making me feel lame. I think I am the person who brings myself down the best. That is something I want to work on.
....
One main reason that brings me down is schooling. I feel I am doing nothing, I am taking 2 classes online and will be taking a mission prep class that starts tomorrow. Online classes are horrible for me. For example I should be doing them right now but decided to take a break. I hate just staring at my computer all day long at all the words that have not reached the paper yet. Or the book that is so boring I have to read. And for the math...I stare there for minutes, hours looking at problems I wish I understood. Which when I give up I just end up looking at Facebook, which is really boring. I've decided to tell you all this to help me admit my problem so hopefully it will help me move on! I am going to get what I need to get done this semester so I can take classes in the summer in a classroom. Not online, I want a life. Online classes kill the social life I meet no one new. Everyone else is busy with their school work after classes. But my school work is my class. Which means I don't get to see much of my friends.
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Thank you for letting me vent to you! I know that once I feel I can succeed these classes, I won't feel like such a lamo. I will admit, I get jealous when people talk about their classes and their teachers, even if they hate the teacher. So that is my goal, to get everything I need to get done for UVU and BYU Independence Studies so I can take classes in a classroom.
I hope all of you are enjoying your classes, and I hope they don't get the best of you this semester! Take Luck!! :)
